I did this…

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Cartoon Nirvana

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Ehhhh, wrong! That’s confusion on your face not enlightenment, I see it.You’re not some Himalayan wizard in a smok. You don’t know where your going and I caught you. You charlatan. You may make it look like you’re boarding a spaceship but that’s just a train. The jig is up. You’re not a beacon of utopia, you’re just like the rest of us, a tourist lost and confused. Thanks asshole.

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Infantilized by Fashion

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These only go well with adult diapers.

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Twerked to Death

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The dude is so exhausted from a life of begging he’s found a statue to do it for him.

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A Vulture’s Circle to a Dead Man’s Perch

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I took this and thought, that’s cute, he’s like a retired pirate or something. Look at em. He’s got an eye patch, a pet bird he’s talking to….However,.. that bird is not a parrot, its a pigeon. And that patch, it isn’t from a swashbuckler’s tale. He probably has caterax or some other fucked up ailment that old people get from NOT leading an adventures life. And the bird is not on his shoulder, it’s perched on his walker, which is the equivalent of a peg leg, but it’s not a peg leg, it’s only a walker, so it’s just sad.

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Car Port

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I laugh at you complaining about traffic in your car. Fuck you and your horn, your personal seat. You’re frustrated with it being bumper to bumper, try body to sweaty body for an hour you fucking baby’s. This is my G-Ride,..the Jitney, AKA Gypsy Cab bitch! The driver doesn’t speak English, he’s usually drunk, and there’s no AC. Its like riding around in a Padi Wagon. Might as well be. That’s where half of us are gonna end up anyway. A bunch of loud ass Hood Rats with Hood Rat tattoos and Hood Rat babies. All of them, smacking gum, drenched in fake gold,and candy paint press on nails. You can pick your own music, not me. I have to listen to Spanglish party bus music bumping through blown speakers. Fuck your horn, your non-ped plight. I’m in hell from home to work and back again. There are levels of poverty to equate with the frustration one feels with transportation. A passenger frustrated with his chauffeur is one step up from you. You’re a spoiled brat. When your ride is done you want to pour gas in the tank…me, I want to pour it all over the whole fucking ride and flick a cigarette. No next stop, no more worrying about it showing up on time, it’s done, it’s over, the ride is over.

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#Fuckitall

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I have spent the past month really reconsidering the path I want to take with my “career”. I have just been trying to look at what stand up comedy is to me. For sure I will never make it in the mainstream, probably never get on television. I’ve been at this shit for over 13 years and have nothing in the way of traditional success to show for it. No money, still in obscurity, still pulling day jobs, still unwilling to put my heart into networking,…so here I am. I’ve given up on the utilization of social media, with the exception of this site. And the only reason I’m keeping it is because I enjoy being somewhat creative here. But as far as gratuitous self promotion I must cease and desist. No more participating on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, etc…it’s lame. And it doesn’t fit what I have to say anyhow. I don’t want to be a hypocrite.I would rather take a potential tweet and turn it into a 5 minute bit. I don’t want to take pictures of my food, I don’t want to invite you to shows because the seats won’t be filled without me begging you to show up. I don’t want to build enough followers to impress a manager. Nor do I have any interest in what others are saying on these sites either. I’m only using it to promote myself. And that doesn’t sit well with me personally. Because Im a proponent of “Propaganda by the Deed”. This means I walk what I talk to promote what I do. The idea is I produce, you support. I don’t need to be the guy cramming himself down everyone’s throat. If there is an audience out there for me its going to be based on my stage show. If you like me you will come to another one, maybe buy an album. Its not going to happen with a bunch of one liners clogging your feed, annoying the piss out of you with show invites you will never come to. Really, who wants to spend money to go watch someone who is desperate and annoying? If success takes me being a sycophant then fuck it. I don’t want it. I love comedy, I hate begging. So from now on this is where you can find what I am doing. I hope you like it.And for old times sake I’ll leave you with a one liner,…”Every book burning began with a Kindle”…
You’re welcome,
Mack Lindsay

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